I needed that
by Flamesofpassion13
Summary: Raf dies and Ratchet is in anguish, a story of how he copes. Read and review! RafXRatchet pairing!


**I needed that...**

Cupping his large hand close to his chest, the red and white Autobot bowed his head in grief.

This was not how any member of team prime should meet their end- especially one as valuable as him.

_He _was gone. No medical science could bring back the boy, bring back Ratchet's one true love, the one he had never been able to speak about to anybody.

Yet now it was too late to tell him how _he_ had lifted Ratchet's spark whenever _he_ was around, the boy's very aura seemed to change the medic into the Autobot he once was; a joyful youngling.

However, it still made Ratchet feel ill at how he had first acted around the boy- _he_ had just been another nuisance to the old bot, another way to sap out his strength, however, as the time moved on, and as the boy's visits became more frequent, Ratchet suddenly started to look forward to seeing him, to watching the boy work alongside the medic.

He had started to love him.

_He _was more than just technical support, _he_ was the only support the old bot needed, the only person who could affect his spark in such a way.

Yet now, now _he_ had gone. Had become one with the all spark.

Had left him.

He would cry, yet he couldn't, not while his spark was on the verge of destruction, not when all of those he cared about were gone.

After Optimus' sacrifice, the medic had been hollow. His best friend, his only friend, had left him.

But then _he_ comforted him, showed him that there was more to his life than just Optimus, that there was someone else's shoulder to cry onto, that there was _someone_.

_He_ may have been small, may have been a nuisance at first, yet _he _had saved the medic in every way a mourning bot could be saved, _he_ had given him hope.

Pressing his forehead to the cold, lifeless form, Ratchet closed his weary optics to try to stop the tears he was holding back from falling, it was his fault- if he hadn't finished off Knockout when he had the chance, the measly scientist wouldn't have got the opportunity to experiment on humans.

"Rafael," Ratchet sobbed, not able to hold back his sorrow any more, "I'm _so, so_, sorry…"

Rubbing one large finger across the boy's cheek, Ratchet took in the beautifully shaped face, ruined only by the lifelessness and the purple veins of dark energon injected by the evil Decepticon doctor. If his lips did not have a blue tinge to them, the boy could have been sleeping.

If only he were…

There was a soft noise of wind behind the medic, signalling the arrival of a ground bridge, then three sets of heavy footfalls. The others had arrived.

"Ratchet…" Arcee froze mid-sentence as the medic turned, his head bowed in order to hide the tears, yet the boy visible to all.

"Shockwave…" was all he could manage, before sinking to his knees.

"Ratchet…" Arcee's voice was softer, and a hand touched his shoulder, "There was nothing you could do…"

*Raf…* the boy's guardian hummed sadly, the scout's hand held out for his partner. Grudgingly, the medic complied, setting the boy into the youngling's palm.

As Bulkhead comforted Bumblebee, Arcee knelt down beside the medic.

"Ratchet, can you tell me what happened?" looking at the femme bot, Ratchet shook his head sadly,

"Shockwave… used, dark energon…" then he lowered his face once more, unable to relive the memory, "First Optimus," he breathed ruggedly, "Now, Raf…" the medic shook his head, "When will this end?" he moaned to himself, yet Arcee overheard.

"You loved him, didn't you." It wasn't a question, but he nodded anyway.

She nodded sadly, "Sacrifice is a part of war, yet we didn't mean to get the humans involved," she blinked away the tears Ratchet could see forming, "Especially Raf…"

The medic rubbed his arm sadly,

"He wasn't a fighter…"

Arcee nodded,

"Head back to base, Ratchet, you need some time."

Slowly, following the order, Ratchet got shakily to his knees, his spark feeling a million eons older, his will to live splitting in two. Dragging his large feet, the medic passed the other Autobots in deep silence, his pain was clear to read: the old bot had lost another he cared about.

Without him realising, Ratchet found himself entering the cooling green of the bridge, and halfway down the path, the medic paused and fell to his knees, not caring if anyone found him here. Sobbing, he allowed the tears to fall, rolling down his cheeks, his sorrow openly on show, for Optimus, for Raf.

The image of the small boy filled his mind, and the medic looked at the hand which had cradled him.

Quietly, his voice breaking with sorrow, Ratchet moaned, his tears blurring his words,

"I needed that…"

**How do you think that went?**

**I'm not great with romance- but this pairing was sooo sweet!**

**Review please!**


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